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Post by sksfordman on Aug 22, 2009 19:46:42 GMT -6
Farmer Jones was the most negative man in the world. Farmer Smith was his next door neighbor and a very happy fellow. "Ain't it a beautiful day?" Farmer Smith would smile
"Huh! " replied Farmer Jones "If it don't rain soon the corns going to burn"
Nest day: "Aint' it nice it's raining?" asked Farmer Smith
"Huh! If it don't stop soon the corn's going to drown" replied Farmer Jones.
One thing the two had in common was their love of duck hunting. They would compete vigoursly and took pride in their hunting dogs. Yes, every year Farmer Jones proved to be the best man with the best dogs.
Then, one year, Farmer Smith got the best hunting dog he had ever come across.
"Just wait until Farmer Jones sees this-he's gotta say something positive"
And so they went duck hunting. As luck would have it, a flock of ducks flew overhead, Farmer Smith took a shot and a duck dropped right in the middle of the pond.
"Watch this." he grinned at Farmer Jones. "Dawg-go get that duck" he ordered his new dog.
The dog ran nimbly to the edge of the pond, and without breaking stride, walked on top of the water, picked the duck up, walked back to shore and deposited the duck at Farmer Smith's feet, with not a feather out of place.
"Well" smiled Farmer Smith "What do you think of my new dog?
"Huh!" answered Farmer Jones "dumb dog can't even swim."
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Post by big8s on Aug 22, 2009 21:01:40 GMT -6
lol
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Post by sksfordman on Aug 22, 2009 21:37:23 GMT -6
He! He!
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Post by kg5388 on Aug 23, 2009 9:50:38 GMT -6
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, Time for you to retire." The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me! Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"
The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I'm taking over." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."
The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast! The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can. The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit... third gay rooster I bought this month."
Moral of the story? Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery always overcome youth and arrogance!
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Post by sksfordman on Aug 23, 2009 16:22:21 GMT -6
lol
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Post by mason0366 on Aug 25, 2009 4:46:24 GMT -6
LOL
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Post by kg5388 on Aug 25, 2009 6:49:49 GMT -6
Kentucky farmer
A Kentucky Sheriff stops at a farm in rural Kentucky and talks with an
old farmer.
He tells the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown
drugs."
The old farmer says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."
The Sheriff verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of
the Sheriff’s Department with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket
and removing his badge. The officer proudly displays it to the farmer.
"See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I
wish...on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made
myself clear?
Do you understand?"
The old farmer nods politely and goes about his chores.
Later, the old farmer hears loud screams and spies the Sheriff running
for
his life and close behind is the farmer's bull.
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer. The Sheriff
is clearly terrified..
The old farmer immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and
yells at the top of his lungs.....
"Your badge!
Show him your badge !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by encore06 on Aug 25, 2009 9:45:00 GMT -6
Barney Fife has done it again. lol
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Post by caretaker on Aug 25, 2009 10:53:53 GMT -6
run Forrest run
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Post by sksfordman on Aug 25, 2009 11:02:27 GMT -6
lol If he could run like forest, he could get away from the bull. lol
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Post by mason0366 on Aug 26, 2009 20:20:42 GMT -6
LOL
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Post by ibugly on Aug 27, 2009 15:30:07 GMT -6
Reminds me of when my neighbor called telling me there was a woman screaming and yelling up behind my house. It got me curious because there's nobody behind me for a half mile. It was one of my Nanny goats with a personal problem.
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